


Please Pull Me From The Dark (The First Avenger)

by majesticdragonair



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Captain America: The First Avenger, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 16:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15123689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticdragonair/pseuds/majesticdragonair
Summary: Steve Rogers, over six feet and more than two hundred pounds, felt smaller than he ever had his entire. Peggy is just there to witness it.





	Please Pull Me From The Dark (The First Avenger)

**Author's Note:**

> it felt innaproprate to put stucky in the title. i was trying to write one thing but couldn't get out of writers block so i made this instead, to try and help it.
> 
> title from so far by Ólafur Arnalds

“Steve?”

He didn’t look up at her, instead keeping his eyes trained on his black shoes, too shiny and glossy for his liking. It only reminded of the times he knelt at _his_ feet, with a rag in his bony hands and-

“Steve.”

He took a deep breath, focusing on the hand on his shoulder, feeling her fingers tighten around the uniform slowly. He looked up and they met eyes, warm brown meeting drowning blue, drowning in memories only Steve could see. She carefully sat next to him, pressing their bodies together and holding his hands in hers, not caring about how they doubled the size of hers. Steve, after a second of deep breathing, gently squeezed her hands back.

“It’s not your fault, Steve.”

Steve closed his eyes, turning his head away and nodding, but it was stiff, a lie. Peggy let out a breath between her lips and squeezed harder. “I’m serious, Steve. You did your best to save him, we all know you did.”

“I wasn’t good enough, though,” Steve spoke finally, voice quiet and dripping with remorse and regret. It made Peggy’s head spin. “All this time, and I’m still not good enough.”

Peggy was shaking as she shook her head. “That’s not true, Steve. You’re Captain America- “

Steve jolted at the name, like it sent an electrical current everywhere they were touching. His voice was harshly dry when he finally spoke, “I’m Steve Rogers.”

Peggy was silent, and it was like a floodgate as Steve finally allowed himself to crack, his eyes open and drowning in the words he was spilling from his pale lips. They were cracked, like he’d been biting them, which was entirely plausible. “Bucky was everything to me, Peggy, he was everything I wanted and needed. He was the reason I did all of this; I followed him into the war, and I’ll follow him if it meant digging to the centre of the Earth. I would- “

He choked off with a gasp, allowing himself to breathe, almost as if he was having an asthma attack. Peggy’s hands felt almost crushed under his grasp, but she never once found herself complaining. She leaned over so her forehead was against his shoulder, feeling him gently calm down. His hands grew gentle again. “I would die for him,” he finished, breathless.

Peggy nodded gently. “He meant a lot to you,” She concluded, even though she didn’t have to. He froze at her words, understanding the hidden meaning behind them.

“Peggy- “

“No. I don’t care, Stevie,” she murmured, not moving away just yet, only clutching his hands with purpose. He didn’t relax. “Can you… tell me?” She asked. “I don’t hate you, Steve. I swear to it.”

“…I loved him,” he obliged, voice quiet, as if the rest of the army would burst in and raise their weapons to their heads. “I love him,” he corrected eventually, when he realised nobody was coming. “And he loved me, so much. He’s everything I could ever ask for, and they… they…”

She moved around when Steve sobbed, holding his face between her hands and rubbing her thumbs over his cheek bones. He had tears gathering in his eyes, which slowly rolled down his red cheeks and over her thumbs. She hoped she looked as soft and kind as she felt, not when Steve’s eyes were glossed over in despair and fear. “I love you, Steve,” She confessed, her chest seeming to finally relax from the long-awaited confession. “That doesn’t mean much to you, I know that now. But you aren’t a failure to anyone’s eyes, not mine or the Commandos.”

Steve just stared at her in shock, before nodding slowly, hands reaching up to gently hold her wrists, allowing himself to cry more. Peggy found herself finding him even more beautiful in this moment, with a raw emotion spread across his expression, almost allowing Peggy everything. She’d never get everything-

“I didn’t fail Bucky,” Steve whispered gently, almost choking around the words.

-She found herself okay with that.

 


End file.
